She looked at the full moon in the sky, radiating light around and sighed, a deep one…wishing she could just keep on looking at the moon, doing nothing else; just she with her whims, illusions and brittle dreams and the big yellow moon- very beautiful and serene. Another moment of introspection; a beautiful thing is good to look at but then moon looks beautiful to us but in reality it is holed with big deep craters- scars, so it proved behind every beautiful thing, there is some pain…
Moon, stars, sky are all limitless entities, something we can never really have in our lives. Just like happiness, she thought. Happiness is so elusive. It forms a small but precious part of our life and life itself is so uncertain. For her, sometimes this life itself became an illusion. The more one tries to understand it, the more illusionary it gets. If you try unraveling it, the more complicated it gets!
These ponderings sometimes just got too much of her. She wished she could go to a place where there were no thoughts, no past or present and even future, no questions asked, no dreams- just peace of mind and tranquility of heart.
The world isn’t an easy place to live and with time it got too dangerous for her, testing her patience and strength again and again. The battles she fought were known to her only and no one could comprehend them, let alone acknowledge her struggle. The starry sky reminded her of the canvas on which her life was drawn; darkness in the background with pinches of light here and there and sometimes there was no light, just black, murky, and suffocating darkness while some blue moons, a light of happiness shone her sky for few moments to last for another lifetime. The world crowded her now, narrowing her already chaotic thoughts and limiting her hope… The hope she had clung onto steadfastly was losing slowly and like the last flame on the totally burnt out candle, it was extinguishing gradually from her life.
There was a time when, in spite of bad tidings, life seemed merry, fun, hopeful and worth living but like a lightening flashing in the sky, that happy time flickered away in a jiffy and then there was just bleak darkness and disillusionment. Everywhere she went and everything she tried her hand at, brought her harsh disillusionment, despair, and finally depression- the deadly Ds of one’s life.
She was living, she had to live but she sensed no purpose in her life and that made her so feeble, so weak, and so meek. She looked at her fate lines and she felt her fate held nothing- just plain criss-cross lines. The people, the relations, the dreams she held so dear in her life were all deception of her life..they were never hers! She was a girl, ever to be a liability on someone, ever to be answerable to someone, ever to be suppressed and pushed to the farthest corner of anyone’s life. Her life was never hers, it was claim of someone. Her voice had to be stifled and be her laughter or her tears; they were to be bottled up! She could call no place her home, for she was no one in someone’s life. She could never live her life her way with uncontrolled laughter and unbridled happiness.
Moon had a place in the sky but she didn’t have one, in her life or in anyone’s. She stared at the moon and it reminded her of so many musings of life and she could go on staring and thinking but there were promises to keep and miles to go before she could sleep.
